I’m scaring myself

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More wrestling with the beloved, blasted last chapter.  I’ve danced around it so long because I want it to be wonderful and frightening. Not sure about the wonderful (secretly hoping, of course) but I keep scaring myself. Can’t explain why since that requires revealing everything that comes before–just to get the full impact of the spooky stuff, don’t you know.  I’m scared enough that I’m writing this instead of that.  <Shiver> And equally frightened that what creeps me out won’t evoke the same reaction in hardened readers.  <Big shiver>  And, as I proceed I see a faint possibility that there might be another chapter looming at the end of this (I swear to God) last chapter.

<Biggest shiver>

Wrestling with the last chapter

I’ve been revising the last chapter of my current novel for five months now. Not proud of that, let me tell you, but it’s the truth. As usual, there’s more than one reason for the god-awful paralysis that’s got me frozen on the edge of completion.

Edge of the Shadow is the first of the Wisdom Court trilogy. The story arc for the three novels follows associates at the women’s institute in Boulder as each works on a heart’s-desire project with total support, all expenses paid. (Did I mention there are eerie, disturbing things happening there?) Shadow sets up everything for all three books, and has to do it right. The climax has to make the reader want to run out to get the second book immediately. I’ve rewritten the damned ending so many times that I’m not dead certain it does that. I can’t tell you how eager I am to work on the second book of the trilogy–I’m at least 200 pages into A Signal Shown–but that first one has to be finished.

I keep letting myself get distracted with the New World Order of publishing. Like this blog, for instance. Plus I’ve been showing my face on Facebook & Link(ing)In, and tweeting now and again. (I think I may be too long-winded for Twitter.) I’m intrigued by the possibilities of all the networking, but the rule is, finish creating the product before you start marketing it, right?

It’s been a long time since I was published. Scavengers (1987) and Obstacle Course (1990) are mysteries set in Denver’s Capitol Hill. Bridey’s Mountain (1993), co-written with Mary Jo Adamson, is a saga set in Colorado. After Bridey, life got in the way big-time with family illnesses and such, and while I kept writing sporadically, I didn’t get near publishable quality for a long time. (That didn’t stop me from sending out Edge of the Shadow versions too early, thus burning bridges with some of the agents I knew. Stupid.)

My imagination is teased by the possibility of creating a shell for the trilogy. By that I mean I could use this blog and the Wisdom Court blog I’ve been messing with to write the back story of the women’s institute–a hang-out zone for readers. One of my favorite things in reading/writing is 19th century novels, and I’ve spent my entire writing career cutting the stuff that goes into those books. I’m talking about the descriptions, the Dear Reader asides, the plot cul-de-sacs I’ve always loved to read.  Admittedly, current tastes don’t run to that and the faster pace and pared down prose are de rigeur for fiction. Still, I ponder what fun it would be to indulge myself in what I like, particularly if I decide to publish the trilogy myself. (And then I remember the old writing advice about how you should always “kill your darlings,” [because they almost always stink] and feel a puritanical guilt about indulging myself.) Sigh.

So, it’s time for a resolution, because what the hell else can I do at this point? I will finish Chapter Twenty-four of Edge of the Shadow. Within the next month. And then I will decide whether to send out agent queries one last go-round. (I recommend QueryTracker.org as a source of agents and advice for approaching them.)

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Rediscovering the fun

Author Carol Caverly joined me last week in a gabfest about writing and reading, along with publishing and making the most of the internet tools now available to writers.  We shared a great deal of information while laughing at the difficulties we’ve both had with some of those tools.

I’ve been tiptoeing around FaceBook and Twitter, and LinkedIn and Gmail+ for months while tripping over such simple tasks as getting a widget or two on this blog.  Every time I try something new or try to get one link to communicate with another, I end up with my nose pressed against a brick wall.  Learning that Carol has experienced some of the same frustrations not only made me feel better, it gave me some perspective as well as several ideas.

I could use Writer in the Garret as a way to explore my adventures with the new tools available to me even as I continue to work on my current project.  I’ve been asked a lot of questions about my writing process since I was first published, and I could write about that here.  And, just maybe, I could have some fun doing it.

I don’t have many followers so far, but as soon as I figure out the widgets I need to hook up with my FaceBook and Twitter accounts, perhaps that number will grow.  It’s been a long time since I was published, but the act of writing hasn’t changed much between times.  My shiny IMac is much easier to use than that electric typewriter I started with, but I’m still typing, and I’m still hanging out with my characters.

So here’s an invitation to you:  If you’re one of us, someone who’s trying to figure out your process, join the conversation Carol Caverly and I began last week.  By the way, I figured out how to tell you a way to get at least one of Carol’s books.  And I avoided bumping my nose into that brick wall while I figured it out.

Holy football, Batman

Did you watch the Broncos playoff game yesterday?  That’s what I call heart-attack football, my favorite kind.  Whatever your feelings about quarterback Tim Tebow, when he’s hot, the game’s a lot more fun to watch.  And here in the Mile High City we have a new drinking game: you get to chug every time someone exclaims, “Unbelievable!”  It’s blotto time.

Now for the upcoming week of wondering: can the Broncos beat the New England Patriots?  Dunno, but you can bet the farm that the city will be watching to find out.

Congrats, Broncos.  Thanks for the excitement.

Hush

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All day gray skies have been heavy with the promise of snow.  Now I look out the window and see a breeze blowing flakes horizontally across my little landscape.  It’s six days ’til Christmas, and the world is curling round and round before settling upon its cushion for a nap.

I intend to bake fruitcake, since I love it, unlike most of earth’s inhabitants.  Once upon a time my children’s godmother, Arie Taylor, made the most wonderful fruitcakes and would give us (me!) one every year, but since she died I’ve bought little ones to see me through the holidays.  Now I must bake my own gluten-free fruitcake.  I have what I need, but I’m watching the falling snow, and remembering other winters.

I think of snow in Boulder, one year so high and clumpy that my brother Mike and I built first a fort, finally adding a roof to make it an igloo.  My fingers tingle with remembered cold, and I can recall the cramped quarters of that tiny structure.  His cheeks were bright red, as I’m sure my own were, and we took turns peeking out the door at phantom attackers.  No snowballs were ever rounder or had better heft. We fought glorious battles until our ears were numb and our fingers and toes ached.  Finally going in the house felt like a defeat, but Mom made us cocoa and we changed into dry clothes and huddled beside the furnace vents until we were warm again.

One Christmas Eve years later my husband and I planned to take the kids up to Boulder to see the family, but by the time we were to set out, two feet of snow had fallen in Denver.  We weren’t going anywhere, except by foot.  A trip the the grocery store two blocks away allowed us to get a certain amount of festival food, and we all settled into the house to watch the white stuff continuing to fall.  By the time the storm was over, we had over three feet, and my children were out the next day, building a fort that later became an igloo.  I watched them jump and throw snowballs, their cheeks bright red, and then went to the kitchen to make cocoa for them.

The snow is coming down harder and the grandchildren are at Yellowstone Park looking at snow near Old Faithful.  It’s time for me to get serious about baking fruitcake or writing a few cards–something.  I’m grateful for the warmth coming from the furnace vents.  Maybe I’ll go make some cocoa for myself and lift a cup to memories of other snowstorms, other times.

Moments and Mockingbirds

To Kill a Mockingbird is my all-time favorite novel, so I had mixed feelings about seeing the play based on it.  But a friend gave me tickets to take my granddaughter to a performance.  Miss B. is ten, and has neither read the book nor seen the film adaptation.  I asked my daughter’s advice about how to field questions that might be evoked by the darker aspects of the story, and, bolstered by her good sense, we set forth.

“This is awesome!” Miss B. announced when she caught sight of the stage scenery, and by the time the lights dimmed, she was bubbling with excitement.  My own enthusiasm was kindled by hers, and we shared smiles as the play began.  The familiar words from the first pages of the book brought Maycomb, Alabama to life once more.  Soon we were caught up in the lives of Scout and Jem and Atticus Finch.  Dill showed up, and the painful demise of Tom Robinson was sketched in several scenes.

The minimalist stage setting smoothly transformed from Scout’s house to the jail to the courtroom.  The actor who played Atticus Finch was physically similar to Gregory Peck, and I wondered how successful a short, portly actor could ever be in the role.  The children were good in their parts.  The main difference in the dramatic version was the personification of the book narrator.  The young woman who played the grown-up Scout provided the transitions between scenes and, as she stayed on stage throughout the play, took on emotional power along with the adult perspective she provided.

The most electric moment came at the end, when the two Scouts, child and adult, turned to each other in grief.  In that instant, my sense of nostalgia about the book and the movie burst into fresh sorrow at this most American of stories. While enthusiastic applause rang out, I fought against the tears in my throat.  As Miss B. and I made our way out of the theater, she asked me, “Why were you crying at the end, Nama?”  And I told her the truth.  “I always cry at the end of that story.”

Pardon My Dust

For the second or even third time in two months, I am switching venues for this blog.  Please be patient.  Thanks to the technical skills of my consultant, things should smooth out in the next couple of days.  In the meantime, check out Wisdom Courtyard for a lovely post from Betsy Cox.  Welcome to Writer in the Garret.

Life as Metaphor

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Life as Metaphor

Last week was spent cleaning the basement. Sounds straightforward enough, right? Not so much. The curse of the writer is to spin life events into metaphors. When you’re ankle deep in dust and memories, it helps pass the time.
We’ve spent well over thirty years in this big old house, and in consequence have been able to store things: old furniture; boxes from many times; tools and lampshades and such. Problem is, when it’s time to clear some space for a furnace estimator, it’s a bigger job than just shifting stuff around. Room must be made, access must be found. Things must be organized, sorted through, disposed of.
Once we get past the “just one more cup of coffee” stage that first day, we plod down the stairs to begin. We run through the tool room with efficiency. Lumber can be stacked against this wall, and tools are sorted into various containers. Much sweeping ensues. Not too bad. Then we walk into the storeroom, filled not only with our belongings, but with things that belong to our children, now grown & without much storage space of their own. We open boxes to check content: forgotten toys, old college books, bits & pieces of enthusiasms now relegated to the past.
Memories waft out like old potpourri, and what was just a spatial, muscular exercise becomes a mental slide show of our kids at different stages. Along with sneezes from the dust come lumps in the throat and yet deeper recognition of how much time has passed. Cross-country skis evoke recollections of sliding across mountain snow, listening to our kids alternate between laughing and complaining of the cold, then drinking hot chocolate at a little diner in Nederland.
I find a box of doll clothes, some sewn by my grandmother. She had a treadle sewing machine, and she taught me to sew on it when I was nine or ten. I pick up a small flowered dress with ties for a bow in the back & remember the doll who wore it. Her name was Joanne.
We move old doors–heavy ones!–in the furnace room itself, clearing space, finding two old floor lamps. My husband attaches a ceiling light and now we can see how much fine dust has to be swept & vacuumed. Leaves have sneaked in through the ventilation window & I rake them up, cast suddenly into autumn even as the sun shines through the cracked glass. Christmas decorations are moved to the tool room until the fate of the furnace is known.
We finish on Labor Day and celebrate with hot showers & glasses of wine. Our magic alley (the things we set out disappear!) is lined with boxes, an old television, red shutters that were in our daughter’s room when she was a child. By the next day, much of what we’ve left is gone.
I’m still finding places to tuck things, like the afterthoughts of a first draft. I have a bittersweet feeling of accomplishment: we’ve reduced our pile of belongings, we’ve organized what we still have. The lingering sense of melancholy is the same emotion I feel at museums, when I view what was once important to those who lived before my time. Sigh.
Posted by Yvonne Montgomery at 1:05 PM 2 comments Labels: , ,

Where it began

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Today I celebrated my August birthday with my BFF, and we made a pact. We are both women of a certain age & our paths are getting twistier as we proceed on our journeys. The pact was that each of us would write a page and post it to a new blog. So here is Writer in the Garret, and with it Wisdom Courtyard, which is based on an idea.

I am a novelist with three published books to my credit, and for the last umpteen years I’ve been working on a trilogy about Wisdom Court. This is a place where women are invited to live for a year with total financial support. Anything these women want to do, be it research, artistic creation, writing the great American novel–anything can be done. The only requirement is that the recipient has to live most of that year at Wisdom Court, which is located in Boulder, Colorado.

The first novel of the trilogy has to do with Andrea Bellamy, a forensic artist from Oregon who wants to develop her talents as a fine artist. The founder of Wisdom Court, Caldicott Wytham, bought one of Andrea’s paintings some years ago, and she has invited Andrea to spend a year at the renowned women’s institute. When Andrea arrives in Boulder, she finds that what has appeared to be the chance of a lifetime is more complicated than she thought it would be, and more dangerous.

So much for the tease, at least for tonight. The notion of Wisdom Court arose from the collision of two ideas: Virginia Woolf said that every woman needs a room of her own. At Wisdom Court, each woman gains a year of her own to do what she wants. The very possibility is irresistible. Combine with that a faint memory of the old TV show, The Millionaire. As a child I watched each week as the show’s characters received one million tax-free dollars from John Beresford Tipton, an eccentric millionaire (surely he must have been a billionaire to fund so many people!). The stories lay in the reactions of the characters to sudden wealth, and the repercussions of disaster, unintended consequences, and, occasionally, sweet justice, were wonderful fodder for my burgeoning imagination. I loved watching these people as they dealt with something that was not only unexpected, but was also anonymously given. Without knowing how the choices were made, the recipients were left to decide their own worthiness to receive such a gift, and frequently the moral issues really messed with their minds. Heh-heh. I was fascinated, and the seed of Wisdom Court was planted with those episodes, which, if I were to watch them today, would probably disappoint me. I hope not.

One of the reasons my BFF and I made the pact tonight was that we’re both standing at personal crossroads. Decisions must be made, actions must be taken–you get the drift. I’m about to finish the latest revision of the first Wisdom Court novel, Edge of the Shadow, whereupon I will begin again to compose scintillating letters to literary agents in an attempt to peddle the book to editors. I really do want my baby to be read by all of you out there. What has made the whole endeavor more interesting than just composing those letters is that while I’ve been writing the book(s)–with a number of Byzantine detours as life has gotten in the way–the entire publishing industry has transformed. The traditional publishing route, which I took three times, has become a much different proposition. And blogs and websites and other such entities have become members of the publishing community(ies), and I’m trying gamely to keep up with the changes.

So, as I look at what I’ve typed, I see that I’m opening a conversation that is–so far–with myself alone. What I intend to do with this blog is periodically reflect what happens during the next year as I try once more to complete the circuit between writer and readers. I’ve missed having my words read and responded to. I’m ready to prep myself for the battle by sending out missives from behind the lines. I look forward to hearing from any and all of you who might read this. I’ll answer your responses as I can, and will be as respectful of them as you are of mine.

More later,

Posted by Yvonne Montgomery at 2:41 PM 3 comments